A Reflection of the Month of May

As May crosses over into June, I think about the struggles that I endured throughout the month. Nowadays, I try to look at a new month as a new start and make up for the things I can do better on, and May has been a month to where I mostly indulged in my distracting and procrastinating habits and toping it off with laziness. That was my biggest goal to avert those bad habits, and we are nearly halfway through the year, and I feel like I have not accomplished even half of what I wanted to do and keep doing.

I’m sure a lot of us are consumed by bad habits that we want to overcome, but the thing to do that is to replace a bad habit with a good one. That’s always been my biggest struggle. I know the majority in the month of May, I have been extremely lazy and not taking care of myself how I normally do, mentally or physically. I have been wasting time, not eating right, and I have not been at the gym in 6 weeks and procrastinating, not learning all this new technology that I can use to my advantage to possibly make a profit or at the very least develop a new skill. All that makes me want to do is kick my own ass because I know I can be doing better. The month of May has been very indulgent.

The last thing I want to do is drown in a wave of regret, guilt, or self-loathing because of all the time I had wasted all month because I know me. That will be a hole that will not be easy to climb out of. I just need to say “fuck it” and just move on and do better. I need to practice more discipline and structure because when I was following through with all my new good habits. I was happy, and the people around me could see I was happy. That is the kind of influence I want to be towards my friends and family.

My consistency with this blog has been lacking, and I have been getting positive feedback from the things I have written so far, and for that, I am eternally grateful. It is now 6:09 pm. on June 1st as I am concluding this post in a laundromat in my hometown, and it’s a new month and fresh start. We are already halfway through 2024, but there is still time to do the things I want to accomplish. I just need to stay focused and run over any distractions that hold me back.

I know this entry might sound like along the lines of being in a confession booth in church confessing all my sins to the priest, but the pen and paper is a place where I feel I can be completely honest with no judgments. I am my own worst critic. I believe it’s a lost art. It’s one of the few things I am good at. Whoever finds these writings helpful in any way, well, that is just a bonus

Thanks for reading, everyone. You have my endless gratitude!

Reaper out!