Filler IX

Well, now it’s April, and it seems like it has flown by, hasn’t it? January seems like just yesterday. It a trip how time flies until the Grim Reaper finally pays you a visit. Not me, the actual Reaper 🤣. Jokes aside, it’s time to get serious. After St Patrick’s day, I started thinking. I need to get more serious about where I want to go in life.

At this point, I feel like I am stuck because I have wasted so much time just fucking around and not think about the big picture where it is going through this journey myself or with someone.

What I decided to do after March, technically after St. Patrick’s Day, give up alcohol. As much as I love beer or a whiskey and soda after a long week, I don’t like the feeling alcohol makes me feel anymore. What I learned about myself over the last couple of years is that when I drink heavily, I get too self-conscious, and I think and talk about things that I regret from the past. How the hell am I ever going to get past my regrets and mistakes if they keep popping up when I drink. So I decided to give it up.

Luckily, we live in a time now where I don’t need to give up beer entirely because there are plenty of delicious beers that are non-alcoholic that I can enjoy, and I don’t know if this makes sense but, I love the taste of beer but the alcohol in it, my body and my brain is like “hey fucker! KNOCK IT OFF”. A musician named Wednesday 13 said something that stuck with me on a podcast once. “What did you love before you found alcohol?”. So I took a deep dive and found all that over the last month. I need to take better care of myself, and all the alcohol I have had over the years is not helping me one bit. Not physically or mentally.

I have a few more, such as getting a better grip on my finances. Find a side income because last year was a tough year financially because of work hours being cut, but that is more of a private manner and I’ll say is that I’m not homeless like a large percentage of California because of costs of living. It’s tough but doable. All this outrage about costs because of inflation. It’s definitely real, but you just need to budget more. Temporarily take the hit, deal with it, and move on. A lot of people don’t realize the last major inflation was back in the 1980s, and the people that are in their 30s and 40s now don’t realize that, therefore, all the outrage on social media.

Overall, I feel good about a new month. My head is clearer. I have a plan, and I understand there will be bumps in that road, but I at least know how to deal with it as it comes. I want to be more consistent in my writing and my online networking as well as enjoying my life off line. Therefore, I took all my social media off my phones so I don’t have it with me when I leave the house. Be more present in life. The last 2 concerts I went to I left my phone in the car. Just enjoying the moment instead of filming the band to “prove” I was there. I realize the memory will stick with me forever, and I can tell that story. The moment you don’t seek validation from others, just do what you want to do, whether it’s by yourself or with others. That’s the ultimate freedom. I don’t need my life on display. Like I said before, I’m not an influencer, but overall, I’m looking forward to the road ahead. I just need to keep focus.

Side note 📝: I really believe the word “influencer” needs a better definition. Especially on social media.

Thanks for reading