Have you ever performed on stage or given a speech?

It was on kind of a sad circumstance. It was at a funeral for a good friend of mine. The gentleman on the left on this posts main photo. He was one of the best guys I ever met. Big heart. Great sense of humor, and the only way he felt he could be himself was around his closest friends. The kind of guy that would give his all to his closest friends despite how he was doing and where he was emotionally and physically. It was an honor for me to know that because I can relate to feeling that way, not feeling comfortable around people. Afraid to open up and be yourself. He passed away from cancer at 38, and I was in his wedding. Went to Seattle for his bachelor party and saw the Jimi Hendrix Memorial outside of Seattle, and for me, that was the highlight of the trip aside from having a blast at the wedding.

Come to my surprise, his sister asked a few of his friends to speak, and a lot of us spoke. As much as I was nervous to do so. I did it for the family, and I’m sure his mother appreciated it. To calm my nerves, I took 2 swigs of whiskey out of my flask to calm my nerves before it was time to go up. When it was my time to go up. I took off my glasses and put them in my shirt pocket just so I wouldn’t be able to see anyone in the audience looking at me, and I just let it flow. I talked about how we met. How we became good friends. How we bonded over music, video games, and drinking and my last moments with him.

I told this story at the funeral about the day before he passed. I get off early from work that day, and instead of going home, I went to his mother’s house, and I parked at the end of the block. I was sitting in my car for about 20 minutes debating whether I should go in or whether I should go home. As I was walking up the block up to his house his mother and sister were outside having a cigarette and his mother turns around and looks at me and with open arms and gave me a hug and thanks me for being such a good friend to him. I was told that he wouldn’t make it through the night. The nurse had said that his body was gone, but his brain was still fighting. His mother asked me to go inside and go talk to him. I asked her, “Can he hear me?” She replies, “he can hear you Mijo, go talk to him.”

When I came into the room. Someone was just leaving, and I sat in the chair next to his bed as he was lying there with his breathing becoming more faint. I had no idea what to say to him. I couldn’t think of anything that he didn’t already know about our friendship. So I sat there and stayed quiet for a couple of minutes. I pulled out my phone, and I started playing some music for him. Songs that we loved listening to when all the friends would hang out. Drink, smoke, play some cards or Dominos, and crack jokes and make each other laugh endlessly. First song on the list, Rose Tattoo by Dropkick Murphys. That was always a group favorite of ours. So I sat there with him for about 30 minutes and let out some tears listening to tunes we all loved when we hung out. I’m sure he knew it was me playing that music because I was the punk rock and metal guy in the group. We bonded over music. I showed him some good bands. He showed me some good rappers and reggae artists.

That’s the story I had told. Side note, I suffer from a nervous stutter, so I’m sure you can imagine how nervous I was when the family asked me to speak. Earlier in the service my cousin was speaking and she mentioned “the one that stutters”. My close group knew it was me she was talking about, but I think it was funny how, during my speech, I did not stutter once! So I thought that was pretty funny myself. I’m not ashamed of it. This is why I believe I speak better in writing rather than out loud. I suppose not being able to see anyone in the audience, I supposed calm my nerves. I paused a couple of seconds between my sentences, but no stutter. Well, maybe the Irish whiskey also had something to do with it as well. Thank you, liquid courage 😁.

Full disclosure… it was hard to write this without shedding a tear. I suppose the memories are the ones are the hardest to take control during your emotions. Not the writing or the speaking. It’s a trip how all that works…

Thanks for reading